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Sunday, January 15th, 2012
9:37 am - Last time I wrote something here it was warm season...
Hi! Time for an update.

Is it normal to feel like you are running into ex girlfriends all over town? One in particular, I ran into on New Year's and now am seeing them everywhere. I think this is giving me (more serious) anxiety problems.

Next, I may not be a contract worker soon, just a real worker. Let's see how that works out.

I have no idea what to do with paid vacation time. I am amazed it exists at all, as it seems if I were to leave for more than an hour the place might collapse upon itself.

OK, so ranting is fun especially when it is very loosely related to my own thoughts.

current mood: early sunday morning

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Friday, May 20th, 2011
7:28 pm
I would have thought being a responsible adult with a job, home, car would have left me a happy content member of society. I guess things are all messed up because I am not. The American Dream sucks and nothing is fulfilling anymore. I need a wayback machine fast so I can have some desire again.

I must have something wrong because I don't really have any reason to care for anything anymore and I really can't find anything for which to have passion. I just need to bide my time for about 60 more years and I can finally meet the inevitable. I guess the Russians were right, life sucks then you die (that is an interpretation for those who thought it was literal).

current mood: nothing

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Wednesday, November 24th, 2010
1:17 pm - Reality TV Addendum
Wake me up when 'Tripping With The Stars: Peyote Edition' starts. I would probably watch that.

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Monday, November 22nd, 2010
3:15 pm - An Idea for Reality TV
My friends, I have a dream. I have a dream where like minded individuals, who hate reality vote-in shows, band together for a common purpose. To brings this madness to an end. I dream of a day where me, you, that guy over there and every other sane human being all agree that when one of these shows begins its new season, we will, by majority vote, decide who is the very worst of the contestants. And we will then throw all of our collect efforts behind having that person win. To make it more interesting, prior to doing so, we will issue a proclamation that we have viewed the contestants, have determined who is the worst of the lot and that we intend to see them crowned. Basically my dream is to suck all the fun out of the contest by making the final result known 1 day into the contest. In my dream we would also advise the network responsible for the abomination in question of our intentions and advise that being the winner means the person is in fact the biggest loser, except in the case of 'The Biggest Loser', where confusion will reign supreme.

current mood: Destructive

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Thursday, September 16th, 2010
8:01 pm - The self feeding machine
Hi everyone. I thought I would share some thoughts about a concept I'm sure I didn't invent. The self feeding machine can be described in many ways. The most simple is perhaps MTV and the VMAs. This is not exclusive to these two entities, but lets just use it for an example. A while ago, lets say about a decade the music industry was taken over by a small sum of companies. Clear Channel being one. Now, to have your music heard on the radio or on TV one must either solicit to the whims of the companies controlling the media, or break into the very few public markets (read college radio and non-clear channel stations). Now, these companies are not happy just controlling what you hear, they will then give out awards with the potential winners being exclusively things that they play. It takes democracy to a whole new level. The people's voice is limited to the things that are heard over and over and waters down the free expression of music to just a few sound clips.

Now, lets take this to something a bit more personal. The economy and the job market. It seems that the job market struggles, and it makes it difficult to find a job. Well in a poor economy there are plenty of lay offs. Well the laid off people and the unemployed fight for the dwindling available jobs. This creates a spiral of sorts and a very frustrating situation for someone who truly wants to work and be productive.

I realize that this was terribly uninteresting but this is a space where I can write some random thoughts and you folks signed up for it. Maybe next time there will be something amusing here. I would guess not. Goodbye for now LiveJournal.

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Tuesday, August 24th, 2010
3:50 pm - This needs to be posted somewhere...
So lately, I have been using my relatively new flip cam to take videos at shows. Seeing as most of what I do with my time is go to stuff. I got this in my inbox today.

Hi. This is Hayden from Dream Affair. Thanks so much for filming us! But...I think I got a little too passionate (dispassionate?) about NY at the beginning of the second video that you posted. Is there a way you could cut off the beginning before the song starts?

Thanks!
Hayden

PS: Detroit IS better than NY...

The video in question has been edited and re-posted to youtube. here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MLa2PoflYQ

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Wednesday, June 9th, 2010
12:28 am - Not sleeping = more livejournal.
Hi everyone,

How is the spring treating everyone?

Right now I am at a crossroads and I don't know where or what to do.

Lets see. The important things are, I made it through yet another Coachella and DEMF without dieing of heat exhaust or malnutrition. I will make a list eventually of all of the great music I heard/saw, but this is not the time.

I think I might be moving to the Bronx very soon. I still can't find work as a Chemical Engineer, and not for lack of trying. New York City seems to have boundless potential for work and fun. It does seem incredibly expensive though. Right now, I spend my days applying for jobs, and coaching a baseball team in Berkley, MI. The baseball team is made of 13-16 year olds and they are a lot of fun for the most part.


I'm sort of getting bored of writing about my boring life, so I'm going to stop. One last thought, based on the things around me and thoughts in my head. Jay Leno sucks, and DEVO is fantastic.

The End.

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Monday, February 15th, 2010
9:14 am - Update.
Hi everyone,

I don't think any of you really use this anymore, but it is still a nice way to vent thoughts.

My life has taken a strange unexpected turn, I have been out of work since May, and have actively been looking for work as a chemical engineer. Nothing has really come up yet.

In my freedom I have been mostly just wasting time, reading books, watching intellectual films and planning trips.

On March 4th I will be traveling to Milwaukee, WI to see the Magnetic Fields. I really like the Magnetic Fields, so this should be excellent.

It appears also that I will be traveling around the american southwest from March 22nd to April 19th. This will meet its climax during the weekend of April 16-18th, for Coachella in Indio, CA.

I am quite excited, although other aspects of life are a drag as always, this should keep me looking forward to brighter days and greener pastures for a while.

Lots of love livejournal, I hope you didn't miss me too much.

Happy 2010.

-Tom

current mood: awake and early

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Friday, May 8th, 2009
8:39 am - Graduation.
Hi everyone,

I am finally graduating. 10 AM this morning I will be receiving my bachelors degree in Chemical Engineering. Long overdue but I am excited. That is all.

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Tuesday, February 10th, 2009
6:46 pm - tweet!
So twitter has taken over the need for livejournal. So if anyone wants to follow me on twitter my name on that is TtomaLlama

Later folks.

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Sunday, January 4th, 2009
1:38 am - current (happy oh nine)
so this is exactly what it feels like to do absolutely nothing for two straight weeks. This is also what it feels like to slip into an drunken haze and make poor life decisions and hope that they have absolutely no consequences.

lets just say, very poor start to oh nine. very poor.

1.I need something to give my life a sense of purpose that it is very much lacking right now. 2.Either that or I need to realize that my life is worth living and I am something special that I should in fact care enough to take care of.

Both seem doubtful.


happy oh nine everyone.

current mood: self loathing

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Tuesday, December 16th, 2008
12:54 am - Please excuse my impatience, I have been doing my best to honor your wishes...
...but I must contest that i believe there has been perhaps a grave misunderstanding.



Without over exaggerating the point, I feel like I have been hit by an onslaught of dense flying objects. That is not even from being sick, which I have been rather ill for the past two weeks.


The illness just seems to make me feel like my lungs are going to either fill up with fluid, or collapse. I don't know which one would be less painful, or which I'd prefer.


Without exaggerating the point, I must confess, I lately I've been feeling as if it would be much easier to just not exist. I keep running from my thoughts, and I end up getting caught, out of breath, and stuck awake, hyperventilating, and thinking only horrible thoughts.



Dear Livejournal,

Please make this stop.


Regards,

Thomas Schultz


the sad thing is, i feel if you only knew how truely miserable I am right now, it would prove to you how much I love you

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Monday, December 8th, 2008
3:24 pm
And no-one saw the Carny go
And the weeks flew by
Until they moved on the show
Leaving his caravan behind
It was parked out on the south east ridge
And as the company crossed the bridge
With the first rain filling the bone-dry river bed
It shone, just so, upon the edge
away, away we're sad to say

Dog-boy, Atlas, Man-drake, the geeks, the hired hands
There was not one among them that did not cast an eye behind
In the hope that the Carny would return to his own kind

The Carny left behind a horse so skin and bone that he'd named Sorrow
And it was a shallow unmarked grave
That that old nag was laid
In the then parched meadow

And it was the dwarves that were given the task of digging the ditch
And laying the nag's carcass in the ground
while boss Bellini, waved his smoking pistol 'round
Saying ''The nag was dead meat''
''We can't afford to carry dead weight''
The whole company standing about
Not making a sound
And turning to the dwarves on the enclosured gate
the boss says ''bury this lump of crow bait''

And the rain came hammering down
Everybody running for their wagons
Tying all the canvas flaps down
The mangy cats growling in their cages
The bird-girl flapping and squawkening around
The whole valley reeking of wet beast
Wet beast and rotten, sodden hay
Freak and brute creation all packed up and on their way

The three dwarves peering through their wagon's hind
Moses says to Noah ''We shoulda dugga deepa one''
Their grissom faces like dying moons
Still dirty from the digging done

And Charlie the Atlas to the three said
"I guess the Carny ain't gonna show"
And they were silent for a spell
wishing they'd done a better job at burrying Sorrow

And the company'd passed from the valley into higher ground
The rain beat on the ridge and on the meadow and on the mound
Until nothing was left, nothing left at all
Except the body of Sorrow that rose in time
To float upon the surface of the eaten soil

And a murder of crows did circle 'round
First one, then the others flapping blackly down

And the Carny's van still sat upon the edge
Tilting slowly as the firm ground turned to sludge

And the rain it hammered down
And the rain it hammered down
And the rain it hammered down
And the rain it hammered down

And no-one saw the Carny go
And no-one saw the Carny go
And no-one saw the Carny go
I say its funny how things go

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Monday, November 24th, 2008
6:50 pm - Man oh man my life is crazy
Hi everyone,

I'm sorry for not writing in an incredibly long time.

Lets catch everyone up, I now work for the second largest tier 1 automotive supplier, and they pay me way too much money.

I have once again lost the one person whom made me feel ok with myself, and now feel like I can do nothing but hyperventilate and cry, cry cry cry cry...ect.

I can't help but think that if I could do it all over again I'd make good decisions, and make everything alright. It's doubtful.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So what do I do now?

I finish school in may (FINALLY!)

I probably will have job opportunities all around the country, mostly in locations where I have absolutely no acquaintances.

Am I capable of starting a new life somewhere away from what I have known to be home?
Am I confident enough to be able to meet new friends and have a life away from Detroit?
Can I get by knowing the one I love most, and perhaps will always love like a part of myself no longer feels remotely the same about me?

call me narcissistic but if you can possibly give any information about those last three questions, please, please let me know... I am at a complete loss, and I really can't possibly think of what to do with myself right now, and short from throwing myself off of the nearest bridge, I haven't any better ideas.



Thanks for your time, everyone whom may possibly read this, I can say I haven't checked the livejournal since march, I guess this is the place to go when you feel like garbage and need to vent to people you haven't had any dialog with in years.


-TS

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Thursday, March 6th, 2008
8:37 pm
sometimes i seriously think things really are that bad.

i think i'm really bummed right now. weird.

current mood: livejournal?meantfordepression

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Monday, February 18th, 2008
8:55 pm - update...
dear god i haven't posted in here in forever.

i'm alive, and over worked.

i think i'm doing a co/op this summer with dow automotive.

right now i just feel like banging my head into a wall a few times so i can wake up....


oh yeah there is another reason i decided to write in here... to make a list, of films i want to see...

The proposition (2005 australian western)
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)
3:16 Johnny (2008)
Hard Candy (2005)

anyone here want to help me take down this list, i'm lazy and never have free time so it should be a long long task.


Tom

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Wednesday, December 26th, 2007
2:48 pm
merry x mas, happy new year.

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Monday, November 26th, 2007
12:37 am - my two favorite things are commitment and changing myself...
so thanksgiving came and went, and i didn't have to deal with any of my family, and actually i really did about as close to nothing outside of work as humanly possible. i'm very much suprised, although i did manage to get myself into drunken trouble on wednesday but all and all there was no real damage done... i think. i really wish i would have taken the time to figure out chapter 9 in thermodynamics. but as most things go when you are doing nothing something has to be not done.


i've been thinking a lot lately. which is normally not very good.

in this case it seems to be rather in the middle... i mean, i've realized a lot about myself and human nature, and i think i've made it so that i am somewhat ok with failure. its crazy how i'm almost 23 years old and i still freak out at the idea of not being successful. read that as you may...

successful with love, school, music, almost anything for which i have passion.

i think that there is a good chance that i could be happy with just myself for a good long while, and screw this whole dependancy i have for most things.

perhaps there will be a day where i can be content with everything that i control. wish me luck

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Thursday, November 8th, 2007
9:22 am
reading livejournal is certainly not studing thermo.

this is bad.

exam way too soon....


ack

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Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007
11:40 pm - the fundimental dogma of Tom's work ethic
how come all i ever do is homework. thermo homework.

then proceed to kick it, get way wasted, fall behind in my studies just to live a life full of more homework.

everything is so bloody lame.

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